Spiritual Abuse: Unhealthy Spirituality

Many times people incorrectly identify abuse as ONLY a physical act of violence; however the foundation of abuse is control and manipulation. All forms of abuse (Spiritual, verbal, physical, and emotional), creates FEAR in the victim. I define fear as False Evidence that Appears Real. An individual incites fear over another person by using or identifying an issue against another person (victim). He/She is trying to either control or immobilize the individual.


I believe most Christians at one point in our spiritual journey when seeking a friendships or fellowshipping with other people of the same religious beliefs have encountered someone who were very dogmatic in their views. That person may have expressed to you or attempted to prove to you how their view is right and if you do not follow the “right way” (according to them) you will be doomed to failure. This person could be successful in producing FEAR in your mind and spirit. This situation is spiritual abuse.

I have encountered a few of those people in my life who knowingly or unknowingly were spiritually abusive. Spiritual abuse is not easy to detect. I personally believe it is draining and I believe it can be detrimental to your spirit.

Signs of Spiritual Abuse: 1. Your are discouraged from questioning religious leadership or associations
2. There is a with us or against us mentality.
3. Legalism versus Grace
4. You are alienated if you do not adhere to that individuals guidance and direction.
5. You are led to believe that your salvation is in jeopardy if you do not adhere that individuals guidance or instruction.

The common issue in all of these signs is the religious leader or association is focused on you listening to him/her, Not you listening to God/Holy Spirit(John 10:27), or you creating and following your own path(Proverbs 16:9).

Please be aware that certain advice is 100 percent correct especially in regards to identifying sin and doing away with sin. God does not sugar coat sin, it is spelt out multiple times in the Bible. In the Bible it is written that anyone that goes on sinning is not a part of Him(1 John 3:6). However when it comes to the vision and direction you have for your life, and forging ahead with your relationship with God, it is important that you know WHO YOU ARE IN JESUS because individuals can cause doubt to arise in your mind.

When FEAR has filled your mind you are immobilized from moving in the direction you intending to go because you were presented with (MIS-)information that ties you down mentally, YOU HAVE TO
FREE YOUR MIND.

The unfortunate result of spiritual abuse is that people loose trust in religious associations, organizations, and churches. Some individuals go from being active church members to being “spiritual” individuals who no longer attend church or associate themselves with other Christians for the purpose of fellowship. The Bible tells us that we should not stop fellowshipping with each other and the benefits of fellowship(Hebrews 10:24-25). I personally believe that when we stop being around like minded individuals and are not consistently hearing the word of God it is so easy to loose our flavor (Matthew 5:13).
The Lord even warned his disciples at one point that they were like sheep being sent out to amongst wolves and He subsequently encouraged them to be wise and alert(Matthew 10:16). We are commanded to take up the shield of the Word of God, understand it, and use if when Satan attacks. Satan used the Word of God to tempt Jesus and Eve (Matthew 4, Genesis 3). Jesus identified the misuse of the scriptures and properly resisted satan. Eve was unable to discern the deception and was successfully tricked by Satan.

In all unhealthy relationships there is the issue of FEAR vs. FREEDOM, control versus individuality, and ignorance versus wisdom. God called us to freedom, gave us free will, and told us to seek wisdom. He said that we, His children, will plan our own steps, but indeed He is the one that directs our paths. Therefore in our relationships there should be room to be free to make your own decisions, room to respectfully disagree, room to reconcile, and room to have your own space. When any relationship is preventing you or discourages your individuality through manipulating scriptures and emotions, he/she is trying to control you.

I hope I encourage you to always strive to be FREE and reject FEAR. It is not of God(Romans 8:15).